Monday, 30 December 2013

The Unnoticed Killer

It is normal for a human being like us to have desires and cravings . 
It makes a human Human .

But it is important to have a good control over your desires .
Because extreme desires do kill . That's the fact .

" Sara was having her morning coffee when her oceanic blue eyes got caught up with the ads published on the television . It is the latest product from Apple . The iPhone 5s - designed for the colorful. The ads was so captivating that Sara's body became so static in her seat , staring at the screen . Despite the stiffness of her body , her brain was somehow straining so hard ; recalculating her money and organizing her current financial . "I wanna be a billionaire so freaking bad" . Sara , shocked by the sudden ringing of her phone , quickly stood up and reached out for her vibrating iPhone 4 on the coffee table . It was Douglas the landlord , probably calling Sara to remind her about the-two-months-unpaid-house-rent . Being able to predict what Douglas would say , Sara declined the call . She let out a heavy sigh . As a fanatic fan of Apple products herself , the released of the latest iPhone is so unbearable especially after she had to ignore all the ads about iPhone 5 when it was first released due to her never-ending financial problems. She stared blankly at her iPhone 4 . "Maybe the time has come for me to trade in this phone for a new iPhone" . Sara finally made her decision after a long moment of silence . Her conscious mind tell her not to but her desire  is really good at convincing her naive heart . Sara then put on her trench coat , grabbed her handbag , reached out for her credit cards and off she went , walking anxiously under her transparent umbrella "

What do you think happen to Sara next ?
I don't precisely know about that , but i bet you .. it's gonna be Bad .

I wrote this short story just to give you all an overview about what is it like when your desires take control of yourself .

Your brain can no longer differentiate between what you really need and what you really want .
Your brain is now set to force yourself into buying everything that you LIKE without thinking about the consequences .

Absent-mindedly torturing yourself . 
Became extremely frustrated especially when you are unable to buy that 'everything'.

Take a moment to ask yourself .
Do you feel permanently contented after buying the things your desire forced you to ?

Do you think Sara is still having the same excited feeling of owning an iPhone 4 like when she first bought the phone ? 

If your answer is a 'no' then I assume that you understand the simple nature of a human .

Human like us can hardly feel permanently contented with something .
That is why some of us always in search of ways to improve our life .

a desire to get a better life .

We invent new technologies , machines and products .
Intensively generating brilliant ideas.

And that is one good way of using your desires .

My advice is .. 

Try to be grateful with what you already have in this life . I truly understand what is it like to see your friends buying wonderful stuffs for themselves , but if you are not capable of buying those things as well , do tell yourself that it is OKAY . Believe me that there's a lot of people out there who are hoping to live the life like yours . 

try to earn money on your own or start saving if you feel like buying something .
never burden others especially your parents just to fulfill your desires . 

And of course , you can always feel free to buy awesome things for yourself because sometimes it makes us feel better and stress-free 

but don't let yourself be killed by the unnoticed killer .

I end my piece with a psychotic smile . 

Wednesday, 25 December 2013


Saying goodbye is indeed one of the hardest struggles in my life .

But I've said goodbye too many times before .
Too much of it until there's no struggle needed for me to say it again .

Because i came to realize that life is like an empty box .
As we live our life day by day , the empty box starts to fill itself . 

With memories . 
They are either sweet or bitter but still they fill the same box .

With people .
Parents , family , friends , crush and even strangers .

With our favourite things .
Books , clothes , toys and toothbrush maybe ?

Unconciously , we attach ourselves firmly to every and each of it . 
Thus making it harder for us to let it go .

But now i totally understand the whole concept .
In order to accept new things in life , i have to make some space inside the congested box .

Ready to let go of something . Starting with the things that i will not be needed the most .

The pain .
It somehow occupies the major portion of my box .
The one that gives an extra weight that makes my box extremely heavy .

But fortunately it is now gone . 
Giving me more space for maturity  and leaving only a tiny scratch inside the box as a reminder for me to not let the same pain comes into my box ever again . 

And now , with some space inside my box , i'm ready to move on from the  year of 2013 to the year of 2014 which will unfold itself in a matter of few days .

Sadly , moving on means more goodbye-s.

I have to say goodbye to my high school life . My high school teachers . My high school friends . 

And warmly welcome another new start in my life . 
a totally new surrounding . 

Like entering a new level after completing the previous one in a game .

There will be ..
New experiences . New people .
More challenges . More struggles . 
And of course , more memories occupying the box .

Surprisingly , i'm ready for all of it .
Eager to know what my box will look like in the future .
Better or worse ? 

Hoping for the best of course . 
InsyaAllah Allah will ease everything . 
InsyaAllah .

Even if you don't , i will always be 

Tuesday, 24 December 2013

Who is Ahmad Ammar ?

I was busy studying for the upcoming SPM when all the social networks on the internet were suddenly  flooded with the story of Ahmad Ammar .

Even my sister came home from work one evening and started to talk about Ahmad Ammar .

Unable to divert my mind to focus on other things except for my notes and reference books at that time , i didn't pay much attention to what she was saying .

But my brain managed to process some of the information given by my sister about Ahmad Ammar .

He was a student from Malaysia . Studying in Turkey . Died in an accident recently . The Turkish community really respect him to the max and he was buried in a special place , alongside the other 'Sahabat' like Abu Ayyub Al-Ansari .

And that's it .

I didn't ask much either .

And the story fade away from my mind as i focused my mind for the final exam .
Days passed and i barely remember Ahmad Ammar's name .

A few weeks after my final exam has ended , i once again came across the story of Ahmad Ammar shared by one of my friends on fb [jazakillahu khairan kathira Nurulain Farhana]

the post included a link to a video on youtube .

a simple link to a simple video .
a simple video that simply touched my heart .

I feel so blessed to have clicked that link at that time .
I feel so blessed that Allah had open my heart to know more about Ahmad Ammar .

Subhanallah . Alhamdulillah . Allahuakbar .

there is an english version for this video uploaded recently on youtube as well 

watch the video for yourself then only you will understand what i am trying to say earlier .

and now i knew his story .
Ahmad Ammar's story .

Simply brilliant . MashaAllah .

A true happy ending story . MashaAllah .

Oh Allah , please grants us all a good ending for this life  .
Oh Allah , please accepts our repentance and purify us from our sins . 
Oh Allah , please grants us happiness in this world and hereafter .

Please Ya Allah . Please .

Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin .

Al Fatihah to arwah Ahmad Ammar 

Monday, 9 December 2013

Criticism : Yeay or Nayy ?

Hello everyone !! So how's your day ?

Good ? Great ! No ?
Wait ? What ? Me ? ohh ..

So yeah i've been straining my brain lately to think of what i'm going to post on this blog next but yeah i fail to do so therefore i spent my days watching few Running Man episodes , indulged myself with online articles and of course scrolling my Facebook timeline up and down every now and then . But wait …

Okay back to the main topic …

this topic emerged in my head after i came across a few oh wait no actually a lot of un-constructive and rude comments being posted online in response to the online articles or videos published all over the web .

if i were the owner of the articles or video(s) , i will probably ..

sobs sobs

How can you say something rude to people ? Condemning people brutally ? Criticize their actions their words their opinions and their look ? Bash Bash Bash !!

some even go mad and say "F*** you" "This is s***" 

like seriously ? 

You don't like that crap then go search the web for something else instead of being retarded-ly emotional over those things .

and by criticizing people online you just prove to the world that you are a total coward .
condemning others through your anonymous identity .
seeking attention .

OMG i am criticizing the online critic !! lol


seems impossible *sigh*

Fact : You Can't Avoid Criticism !! 

Criticism has become part of the society nowadays . Some even make money out of it (e.g food critic , movie critic , design critic )

so you have to deal with it like a boss !

Most of the people can't accept criticism well ..

*extremely offended by the critics*
and some be like  ..



i don't know how to say it so let the picture speaks on my behalf 

perfect solution!

and last but not least …

no offense . love you . bye !

Wednesday, 4 December 2013

Feeling Useless : How to Deal With It ? (part 1)

I am neither a psychologist nor a mind reader nor a professional mentalist .
but i can assure you that pain does change people , inside out .

But the changes that took place differs in different individuals .
The pain that you felt may either turns you into a better person or turns you into a bitter person 

Heartless . Rude . Badass .

So now i let you choose your own path . 
If you want to be bitter , then go ahead . I am no one to stop you .
But if you are willing to give a shot in changing your life  then stay .
I can't guarantee a success by doing this , but what you gonna lose ?

First if you are feeling (or people keep saying) that you are useless…..
then do something useful with your life !!

Do random act of kindness . Smile to people . Help old grannies carry some groceries and bla bla bla .

or you can just help your mum with the housework . Avoid fights with your die-hard siblings .

ANYTHING. That is why it is called random .

Im not forcing you to drastically change yourself into a little miss angel but simply act of kindness might help you be a better person deep inside . And the best part is when the people around you started to see the good changes within you .

i recommend you to..


By doing exercise consistently and getting yourself drench in sweat everyday , you'll feel better about yourself . Believe it or not , you'll be happier and your mind will be more positive than ever !! 

You will get a better control of yourself , your mind and your emotions . These will surely help you to block away all the negative thoughts that used to haunt you before and you will start to care less about the bad  things people say or happens because you yourself know how much you are improving now .

doubting my words ? try it for yourself . For beginners , try doing this for the first few days consistently . Goodluck !

Next ..


grab a good book and indulge yourself !

books can help you to escape from the tiring reality sometimes , generate intense imagination and creativity inside your head and help you to relax and forget to be oppressed by people .

comforting isn't it ? (unless if you read yourself a book about ghost and psycho killer :P)

some people even said that ..

and this is why books manage to win my heart 

i guess that is the end of this post .
hope you can be a better person and feel good about yourself .


lots of love from me .
see you later !

Saturday, 30 November 2013

Feeling Useless : How to deal with it ? (intro)

It is heartbreaking to know that your friends prefer to talk to someone else than you 

It is very bitter  when your parents start comparing you with other people or with your almost-too-perfect siblings .

It is indeed so hard when your presence seems to bring no change to the crowd ,
and no one is actually listening to the words you said .

People might say that you are just being emotional . They say that there's nothing wrong , everything is normal , you are just over thinking and bla bla bla . 

But they never knew . They never felt what you are feeling at the moment .
They think that nothing has changed . Everything is still the same . It is you who changed .

and the blame comes back to you .

And now you started to agree with them and join the forces to go against yourself .

You keep asking yourself why can't you be like other people ; enjoying their life to the max , being able to fit in perfectly in the crowd , appear gorgeous in every random dress .

You tried so hard to imitate them but you never succeed . It is always so awkward ; because you are not being yourself .

You totally hate yourself now, don't you ?

if you are feeling all of these shits then stay tuned to my next post .

but first listen to this . i hope it may cheer you up a lil bit before we start .

Friday, 29 November 2013

Plain post .

I woke up to the sound of my alarm this morning .
Not knowing what to do , i crawled back to bed and slept after performing my Subuh prayer .

"rezeki payah nak masuk la kalau tidur lepas subuh cenggini"

My sister reminded me every now and then .
Kadang-kadang tu aku tak jadi tidur but today i slept anyway .

and so i woke up for the second time today .

My family went to the market like phew i wanted to go but they are all ready to go and they say they will wait for me but i don't like to keep people waiting and don't like to rush so bye bye i'll stay at home drinking coffee .

I looked up to the morning sky .

Greyish . Gloomy . Rainy .

I love this kind of weather somehow .
it makes me feel that i am somewhere in cold region countries .

New Zealand , Australia , UK .. except for there is no mat saleh walking down the street .

i've never travelled to overseas before .
mungkin bukan rezeki lagi .

and maybe it is not the right time yet .

oklah I'm gonna stop writing and do something else .. like yawning maybe ?


and Just a reward for your willingness to read this post till the end although i have stated that this is a Plain Post ..

go visit this website : :]

they got some interesting post and of course they are all better that mine . 


I end my piece with a wide yawn .

SPM has ended : Yeay or Nayy ?

Gosh .

SPM has ended so no more school , right ? Like seriously ? 

No more morning alarm . No more school uniform's ironing routine . No more homeworks ?

Pheww how relieving was that !!

But guess what , none of that make my heart contented to the max .
I was pleased with all the sudden freedom but it's empty inside .
It's seems that something is missing out but i don't know what is it .

Hard to explain , hard to express .

I think i've changed since school ended . I like being alone now . Talking to myself more than i've talked to people . Bad mood all the time like never ending PMS .  Get exhausted every now and then . Easily offended by people's words and actions .

So there's no big deal if i say i am actually glad to know the fact that i'll be having another one final paper before i complete my journey at high school .


okay I'm done here . 
there's no point typing if there is no one understand my words .

i ended my piece with a nayy .

Wednesday, 1 May 2013

Salam :)

Oh dear , sememangnya sudah lama patik tidak menaip di sini .

Bukak laptop pun tersangat-sangat-sangat-sangat la jarang .

*pap* (bunyi tampar nyamuk)

yes , memang banyak nyamuk yang attack aku kebelakangan ni .

tapi tu semua tak penting .

Yang penting ialah ... Musim Exam Sudah Datang Lagi Wooo .

Last exam result okay , cuma slack sikit kat physics and addmaths .

My sis kata "Jangan harap result tu berubah sendiri kalau sikap lama tak mahu ubah"

okay , sejujurnya ini first reaction aku .

lymphatic system aku semua macam freeze seketika . LOL .

memang kena tepat kat batang hidung aku .

maka , selepas kejadian tersebut ..

aku pun berazam ..

Result Exam dan SPM Harus Gempak !! in shaa Allah !! :D

p/s : doakan kejayaan kita semua ya :I