Hang takpala Hang pandai

They think I'm that brilliant kid

who needs no hardwork

to score good scores

They think I'm that brilliant kid

who needs no struggle

to get to where I am now

They think I'm that brilliant 

  [Laugh]

Don't they realize

The way they say things

As if they were saying

That a bird needs no flapping wings

to fly up high in the sky

That a fish needs no moving fins

to swim deeper into the sea

That a worm needs no working muscles

to dig through the hard soil

Don't they know

I too have to go through hardships

I too have my own darkest hours

There's one time

I completely blurred out

Nothing in the lectures seems 

to be something that I understood

I ask around

I read through the lecture notes

again and again

again and again too

I end up crying the whole night

disappointed with my own self

for not being able to understand

what others can simply understood

I almost give up

I almost pick up that phone

and say 'mom I can't do this'

But every time my mom asks

'How was thing goin'

.Yeah everything is fine.

.Still adapting.

.But I'm good.

 [hang up]

This lasted for several weeks

WEEKS I tell yah

And I almost believe that I'm an idiot

I feel useless

I feel helpless

I feel hopeless

I taught these feelings were endless

but I was wrong because

It was wrong to say that it will keep on raining once it started raining

What begins will soon ends

and what has ended will soon has 

a new beginning

You just Have To Wait

with sabr

I've waited and

i found the ending to my sorrow

once I turn back to the One and Only,

Allah

the one who can give whatever you want 

and takes away whatever you have

The one who hears you

when no one else care to listen

The one who understands you

more than you understand yourself

the one behinds your sorrow

the reason for your happiness

'Indeed Allah is sufficient for us'

yes Allah alone is enough for me

so I pray for strength

and I get back on track

So they think I'm that brilliant huh?

Indeed I'm no one without Allah

So

Instead of saying to others

'Hang takpala hang pandai'

(Good for you that you're brilliant)

What about saying

'Takpa aku ada Allah'

(Everything's good cause I have Allah)

to yourself

My Journey [part one]

i pray to Allah to bring me to place where i can learn more , become a better person .

Increased in faith and knowledge .

increased in my love for Him and His Prophet p.b.u.h .

because i came to realized that 

studying at a good place not necessarily build a better you

it might what our hearts desire for

but it is not what we actually need 

i got an offer to go for the UM interview 

i got an offer to study abroad under MARA

and i got an offer from UITM Puncak Alam 

for my foundation study

i pray i sit and i think

list out all the pros and conts for each of these options i have

i pray i sit and i think 

i cancelled out one which is the UM interview

i pray i sit and i think

Studying abroad or asasi in Puncak Alam

hardest decision so far

my heart inclined more to Puncak Alam 

i don't know why 

it just did

but i know deep inside

Allah is answering my prayers

Many people objected

Many people questioned 

Many people asked me to think about it again

Some says its a good choice 

for they think i will not be able to handle life alone abroad

they say that I'm not like my sister 

i hate people who judges me before knowing

what am i really capable of doing

and the comparison they made

between me and my sister

makes my heart burn 

burn to ashes

i might be the youngest child in the family 

but that doesn't make me a wimp

i can handle my life inshaAllah

abroad or local

i can

i was about to take up the challenge

and choose the MARA offer

for i want to show them

that i can do it

but i stopped

i pray i sit i think

finally i heard a soft whisper 

theres no need to please the people

theres no need to gamble your future just to fulfill the vessel with holes

where you pour in water

and the vessel stays empty

i know my strength and weaknesses

i know the fact that i might not be able to survive MARA 

the foundation program is too hard for me

and I'm afraid i can't fly 

Say I'm weak

Say I'm a coward

i don't care

because i know i'll grow stronger

i'll get braver

i just need a perfect kick start

with bismillah i declined the MARA offer

and choose puncak alam instead

my family has no problem with my choice

they respect my opinions and my stands

they even support me

alhamdulillah

then i pray again

i pray for Allah to make this path the best one for me

regardless what people say

regardless what people think

I've made my decision

(continued)