Monday, 6 October 2014

My Journey [part one]

i pray to Allah to bring me to place where i can learn more , become a better person .
Increased in faith and knowledge .
increased in my love for Him and His Prophet p.b.u.h .

because i came to realized that 
studying at a good place not necessarily build a better you
it might what our hearts desire for
but it is not what we actually need 

i got an offer to go for the UM interview 
i got an offer to study abroad under MARA
and i got an offer from UITM Puncak Alam 
for my foundation study

i pray i sit and i think
list out all the pros and conts for each of these options i have
i pray i sit and i think 
i cancelled out one which is the UM interview
i pray i sit and i think
Studying abroad or asasi in Puncak Alam

hardest decision so far

my heart inclined more to Puncak Alam 
i don't know why 
it just did

but i know deep inside
Allah is answering my prayers

Many people objected
Many people questioned 
Many people asked me to think about it again

Some says its a good choice 
for they think i will not be able to handle life alone abroad
they say that I'm not like my sister 

i hate people who judges me before knowing
what am i really capable of doing
and the comparison they made
between me and my sister
makes my heart burn 
burn to ashes

i might be the youngest child in the family 
but that doesn't make me a wimp
i can handle my life inshaAllah
abroad or local
i can

i was about to take up the challenge
and choose the MARA offer
for i want to show them
that i can do it

but i stopped
i pray i sit i think

finally i heard a soft whisper 

theres no need to please the people
theres no need to gamble your future just to fulfill the vessel with holes
where you pour in water
and the vessel stays empty

i know my strength and weaknesses
i know the fact that i might not be able to survive MARA 
the foundation program is too hard for me
and I'm afraid i can't fly 

Say I'm weak
Say I'm a coward

i don't care
because i know i'll grow stronger
i'll get braver

i just need a perfect kick start

with bismillah i declined the MARA offer
and choose puncak alam instead

my family has no problem with my choice
they respect my opinions and my stands
they even support me

then i pray again
i pray for Allah to make this path the best one for me

regardless what people say
regardless what people think
I've made my decision


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