Tuesday, 15 December 2015

Athirah Life Updates (16/12/2015)

Hey y'all . I'm sorry that somehow this blog has changed into some sort of  life diary . Instead of sharing 'useful' information and knowledge with you guys (macamlah sebelum ni informative sangat) I give you updates about my current life in which , hangpa semua tak kisah pun i know hahah . But yeah , the reason i'm doing this is that i want to keep track of my life . There's so many things happening in my life right now (kononnya) , so i want to cherish every piece of it by writing about it here. Hopefully , these 'updates' would give my future self something nice to read and to reflect upon in the future . So bear with me ~~

Haha .

In the previous post , i've wrote about how my life is going 'down the hill' real fasssst and about how my introvertness outweigh the extrovert side of me .  I would say , i felt so lost and empty at that time. There's not much of 'human interaction' going on . Aku , roommate aku , kak nana , puteri , syahirah and that's it . Dengan kawan sekelas , just dalam kelas and thats it . Habis kelas , aku buat hal aku and depa buat hal depa . No texting , whatsapping , dinner together or whatsoever . Everytime mama or my sisters called me , mesti aku tengah jalan sorang , tunggu bas sorang , beli makan sorang . Sampai risau depa dibuatnya . Actually , bukan depa ja risau . Deep inside , i'm worried about myself as well . Sedih tu , jangan katalah . From a very hyperactive lad that giggles around with her peers to that girl who is always seen to be walking alone . Can you understand that emotional stress though ? haha .

Then my big bro lend me his camera . Praise Allah for such a life changing moment .

For your information , photography has always been my number one passion ever since high school . Maybe its something that i inherited from arwah abah . Abah dulu haha semua jenis camera filem dia ada . Every raya , dia orang paling semangat nak tangkap gambar . Beli filem beli bateri set up camera semua . Usaha bawak aku pi kedai gambar just to have a picture of me taken professionally by good photographer (read:apek kedai gambaq) . Ahhh what a memory (mata masuk habuk haha) . Okay , back to my story. Dulu , zaman sekolah , geng semua dah ada sorang sebijik DSLR . Kempunan noks .Sis tak mampu huhu . Aku redo je la sebab faham duit beribu guna beli DSLR tu boleh guna untuk benda lain yang lagi penting . So aku layan ja camera digital biasa , asal gambar lawa apa kesah hahahah . But yeah , perancangan Allah itu sememangnya yang terbaik . Kalau aku beli DSLR time tu pun alahai apalah sangat aku nak buat . Dahlah bukan jenis travelling sana sini , life aku time tu cuma sekolah rumah buku sekolah rumah . Nak tangkap gambaq apa ja ? Nota addmath ? haha .

"Nikmat Tuhanmu yang manakah kau dustakan ?"

Indeed , Allah is the All-Knowing . Allah knows when it is best for me to own a DSLR . Bila masanya aku betul-betul 'perlukan' DSLR instead of just 'inginkan' DSLR . Allah tahu :)

Since i've signed up for Setiausaha Khas Majlis Eksekutif Pelajar Penerbitan dan ICT or SUK MEP PICT for short , banyak program yang memerlukan aku untuk tangkap gambar . Dah rezeki , aku juga dilantik jadi Ketua Unit Fotografi dan Media Kelab Sanggar Seni . And all without having to go through any interviews . Alhamdulillah . I see this as an opportunity for me to use my passion to help people (tolong tangkap gambar boleh kira macam tolong jugak en acilah acilah please) heheh  . And everytime people excited tengok gambar diorang lawa (angkat bakul), it motivates me to keep going and snap more good photos inshaAllah ! I gained my confidence back too .

And so why did i say that it is a life changing moment ? The thing is , i'm still having that lone-ranger-struggles at that time. But as time passes by , i got the healing that i want (bukan marvin gaye na ehem) . But how photography helps? See, makin banyak aku tangkap gambar , makin banyak orang aku kenal , makin banyak muka yang aku cam . I make connections with people from behind my lens gitu. Walaupun tak cakap , but after sometimes dah rasa okay and selesa untuk senyum. Senyuman means a lot to me (bukan senyuman dari opposite gender please hati tak qowiy nanti huhu) . Why it means a lot ? Because a simple smile can work wonders for you . It resembles happiness , gives your soul the warmth it needs and and creates a stronger bond between living beings . No wonder smiling is one of the sunnah of Prophet Muhammad ! [May Peace Be Upon Him] :)

Now its like just a week more to go before final exam for the first semester starts . I have more friends now , dah boleh menggila dengan kawan sekelas even di luar waktu kuliah . Berteman bila makan kat cafe , tunggu bas and even fotostat nota kat pusat Toh Puan . Ada few awesome kenalan from other courses and there's a few seniors too . I've managed , with the help of Allah , to lift the barrier that I self-created between me and other people . Baru aku tahu , coursemates aku semua sama ja gila dengan aku , it is just me dulu yang reluctant to open up to them .

So footnote untuk post kali ini is that never give up on your life . There will be hard times but it is never permanent . Things will get better soon inshaAllah . Keep telling yourself to stay strong and look forward for the good days to come . Who knows what the future brings so bersangka baiklah dengan Tuhanmu :)

May peace be upon you .

*Athirah please work harder , its no pain no gain concept , remember?*

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